Changes, They Keep A-Coming

Once again I find myself scrambling to post something before the month passes me by. We've been coasting along on the new-daddies-to-a-newborn track fairly well while still letting the Boy know he is an equal part of our lives as the Butter Bean. The support has been awesome and our families have been a huge part of our success.

I put up a HUGE batch of pictures to Flcker so feel free to take a look. I hadn't realize how many pictures we had lying around to be posted, it ended up being a few hours of work but well worth it. It gave me the chance to actually relive the last few months over with a little perspective and it was awesome to see all the little things I had missed in the moment but that had been captured by the camera.

We took our trip to Santa Cruz and had a blast, it had to have been the best wedding we've been to to date. It was relaxed, intimate and so approachable. We felt like we had stopped by a friend's house and happened to come by during a great party. It was a mini-reunion as well - seeing many of our Northern California friends we hadn't seen for some time. The ceremony was sincere and honest - perfectly reflecting the couple. It was fabulous to take the whole family to all the happy places we know in Santa Cruz and weave them into those memories.

While up north we got the chance to swing by Apple and let people see the new baby and meet Treonte. He had a a great time - they have walls in Apple you can draw and write on. I posted a video of him being his happy self while we were there. Bill's co-workers were all incredibly eager to see the kids and we got waves of geeky support and love while walking the halls in his building. They had all pitched in for a portable crib and it was welcome addition on the trip. Babies have so much......stuff for lack of a better word and having a mobile command center for it all made the whole experience pleasant.

Siddha is vocalizing left and right. The loon-like calls and whimsical sing-song cries now greet us in the mornings and call us to task through out the day. She is not a baby prone to crying but rather she will give one disgruntled yell and then wait to see if we respond. I spent an afternoon watching her where every time I was not in line of vision she would call out and smile when I returned. She's smiling, laughing and grabbing things to taste them. She spends her waking moments now aggressively interacting with us and her environment. She is almost sleeping the night through so we're all very happy about that. She was put on about 3 lbs and 3 inches (1 inch/lb per month) since birth. She is doing great and is a content little person.

We have an appointment next week to start the official adoption process with Tre. The waiting period has passed for his birth parents to file an appeal and now we can start getting all the paperwork in order to present to the court. Our social workers think we should have the adoption finished by late October at the latest. We're trying to be excited but guarded about it. I know it's going to happen but who knows exactly when. The idea of being able to say Tre is our son in every sense of the word is intoxicating, I literally reel from the idea. To know he is our son and that no one can take him away on a whim is profound. Having been in foster care over half of my life and having once faced the daily feeling of impermanence, I for one will sleep more peacefully when he is adopted. It will also be wonderful to say to Tre that NOW he is adopted.

We still haven't had a chance to visit Deisha & Darnell but I am hoping to set up something up in the next month or so. I know I want to see how they're doing and give Tre the chance to see that people don't always leave your life forever. It will be a great chance for D & D to see the baby as well since all they saw was a very pregnant Leng. Our hope is to get together with the Baileys (Bill and his kids James & Jasmine) and them. To have a reunion of sorts with everyone in that area.

We went to Soak City again this year and had an excellent time. We invited several different families (Lae Lae, Rowena, Nathaniel, Katie, Nia, Lisa, Leng, Nani etc) and rented a cabana by the wave pool. We arrived just as they opened and left shortly before closing. I don't know how many of you recall the Boy's fear/anxiety around water but he is completely different child now. He eagerly went from activity to activity, relaxed and open to trying new rides. I love seeing him trust the world around him and looking to participate in things as fully as possible. Seeing children with crushed spirits carries for me a lingering sadness, it breaks something inside. To watch him breathe and live has been a gift. We have enjoyed this outing so much that it has officially become a Family Tradition.

My dad and his boyfriend Michael took the Boy to a baseball game and it was an outstanding success. My dad has really come through for me as a grandparent. I had little doubt that he would but I hear the horror stories of estranged relatives or open bias against adopted children. The struggle to have the children included and given equal consideration as biological family and I am glad to say I have had no such problem with any of my family or Bill or Larry. Even my dad's friends have made Tre the official mascot for Queerspawn and make him the center of the their world when he's around. I love my queer village.

That's all for now and as usual we welcome any and all to visit or make a connection with us down here in San Diego. I will be trying to make more connections myself in the next month with all of you. Till the next post, be well.