McMansions & Compounds

Back again for the monthly update of the Stouder-Studenmund family. As we have been saying for some time we need a bigger house and more bathrooms - please more bathrooms. Well we were on the remodel track with our current house and were getting everything laid out and in place when we started having some talks with the Calohs (Leng, Lisa & Nani) about our vision of a blended family.

Now for most people reading this I feel fairly confident that you know what I mean by "blended family" but just in case I have a new reader present I will explain. We started having kids faced with the common many queers face when deciding to reproduce - how? Lacking key elements to do so you are required to branch out to many different solutions - surrogacy, domestic adoption vs. international adoption, foster to adopt, etc. We talked and talked and talked and talked till we decided to do a blend of a lot of different things. We adopted Tre as a foster to adopt child and we used surrogacy for Nani and Siddha. So we have children sort of blurring the lines between the two families. We are mothers and fathers - aunts and uncles - primary and secondary caregivers - you get the picture. Our Queer Village.

So discussing our vision of a blended family we came back to the idea which has stuck with us of having a living situation where the kids flow naturally and effortlessly from one house to the next. So Leng did a search and found a property - 4848 Seminole Drive - it is perfect for our needs. The house is wonderful and has plenty of space for everyone including our newest addition to the family - Monica. Bathrooms to preserve the peace and plenty of room on the lot for the Calohs to build another house on it. It's still in incorporated San Diego and not very far from our current house. Further signs things are falling into place is my father needing a new place to live in the near future so we can rent this house to him without a lot of frustration or uncertainty of renting to strangers. Long story short we have put in a bid for the property and hopefully next month my blog post will be about us moving in.

This has made us realize that if we remodel this place into a McMansion - we will have no further room to grow except up to a 3rd story so getting a bigger place is the new action plan. Our hope is this place since it is zoned and has the room for the Calohs to build on so keep your fingers crossed for us. The decision to move has brought with it a series of necessary but unpleasant tasks such as purging the house of clutter and packing up with kids in tow but it is the best course of action so away we go!

We went to Nathaniel's 5th birthday and had a wonderful time. Check Flikcr for the posted pictures from the event. We always enjoy our time with the Musicos and I love seeing our kids together. I'm not sure if our children will be close friends when they grow up but at the very least they will know other people with same type of family and we have other parents to bond with over raising our queerspawn.

We have Siddha's second birthday coming up on Saturday at Kid Ventures. The time continues to zip by and here she is in her full glory as a toddler. She is talking in 3 to 4 words sentences and continues to express herself all over the place. This last weekend Auntie Monica gave her some fresh mint to smell and she wandered through the house to the dads asking them to "smhall" it and putting it under our noses. She is picking up words here and there as we talk with her trying to teach her what things are called. It's a delight to watch her acquire language and a rare joy offered to us in the act of raising her.

Tre has mastered shoe tying and is jubilant about the fact. We have started taking him to the Hillcrest Farmer's Market and letting him learn about commerce. He goes with ten dollars and then has to budget how to spend his money while there. He is learning about bartering, delayed gratification and about how he relates to the people he shops from. All the vendors there have been great. They have answered all his questions and seem delighted to have a young person inquiring about their farms and animals. He is making the connections between himself and the people around him - how him buying things starts a chain reaction of events. Lunch there lets him try to be a more adventurous eater - not one of Tre's strong points but knowing the people has made him more bold and knowing the food was made from ingredients he can see and touch has removed some of his trepidation in trying new foods.

We had a rough patch of about two weeks around Mother's Day but that seems to be smoothing out. We have been acknowledging the feeling but reinforcing the reality of his situation. He wants to hear that Michelle (his birth mother) cared/cares about him which is completely natural but as children his age do he started making things or inventing scenarios that showed what he needed.

Tre: "Michelle came to my 3rd birthday."

Dad: "No bud but I bet she wanted to and if she could've she would have been there."

Tre: "I'm coming to live with Michelle."

Dad: "I bet she would love to have you with her but right now this is the best place for you."

You see the pattern - good news is this is proving to be much easier to deal with then we thought. It seems clear he wants to know he matters to her and that she cares for him. Thanks to trust and love he has for us - telling him how she does care about him addresses that need for him. All the Aunties have been incredibly helpful - having women around him that love and support him goes a long way and we are extremely thankful for their love and devotion.

I wish his teacher could have been more supportive about it. She talked with me about Tre's recent behavior - how he was more fragile lately and prone to acting out with her. I explained that the push at school about Mother's Day (art projects, cards, books, etc) can be harder for an adopted child to which she looked surprised and blinked a few times and replied. "Oh...I hadn't thought of that." In my head I casually reached over and strangled her - ending her and Tre's suffering in one decisive act but instead I said. "Yes as I have mentioned before sometimes Tre's needs and reactions are going to differ due to that fact." I keep telling myself the year with her is almost over and that helps.

Grammy Jo arrives tomorrow afternoon and the kids are excited. As I have said in the past she is a rockstar of a grandparent. She makes time for multiple visits throughout the year and is keenly interested in the kids and getting to know them. We have never seen any difference in the way she relates to any of the children - all of them are her grandkids and they feel that blanket acceptance. We have a couple of activities lined up for her week long stay and we have plans to talk to her about the extra bedroom we have in the new house for her and to make it clear our intention for her to come stay with us when its time. Larry feels very strongly about caring for her like she did him and making a place for her in our lives and the lives of our children. Wish us luck!

That's everything from us here in San Diego - hopefully the next post will be all about the Compound we're trying to buy and build here. :) As always feel free to visit us - the more the merrier!

Spring Break

So this entire month has been Spring Break for us since the kids are on a year round track at school. Tre did a few weeks of an after school program that the Birney offers during the vacations and spent some time just playing at home. It was great timing since A-ma has been here in the states for the entire month as well. They have all gotten time to see her and spend time with her which is always wonderful to see and help be a part of. We took a trip to the zoo, the kids went to the Wild Animal Park and hosted several playdates here with neighborhood kids.

The dads went to Santa Cruz for a long weekend and we had a blast. We saw old friends (thanks for making the time all), ate some great food, bought and read books (a rare treat right now with kids), slept in and saw a movie. We found a hotel that we love and is now our official spot to stay when visiting SC. Though I think we've decided to fly up from now on instead of driving - to get more time on the actual trip without increasing it's length. Many thanks to Lisa, Leng, A-ma and Monica for looking after our children - making the trip possible. It also gave some time to just spend with each other which was awesome. We came back happy and rested dads.

Had my 39th birthday this month and it was just lovely. We went out for dim sum and I was greeted with a HUGE ballon sculpture - really it was bigger than a person. Our friend Joy was down with her daughter so that was an added bonus and my husbands got me an incredible mango cake for the Lemon Grove Bakery - a place we feel in love with when they made our wedding cake. We go there for all our cakes now. I got a great new man-bag or he-purse - happy as can be. I also picked up some new music as well. I am looking forward to 40 since that's the year I get my tattoos.

The night out to see Quidam was awesome and the dinner before hand was great. The evening was filled with conversation, laughter and art so perfection. It had been awhile since we had been out with all the parents and no kids so it was a treat to talk about something other than schedules and current toddler fueled challenges. It's nice to get the balance of your life as a parent and your life as an individual - to able to nurture those relationships that you had outside of family life or at least feeling like you can engage parts of yourself and your experience that is not just about kids. :)

The remodel is chugging along. We have the funds and we're getting our plans updated to bring them up to code. We have narrowed it down to two contractors and just need to talk to them about schedules. Not looking forward to the actual remodel but eager for the extra rooms in the house. We are planning a big purge through out the house to only really have things we need or want in the hopes to really be able to spread things out a little bit more after the remodel. I will be starting the hunt for a storage unit to put things to get them out the way and some posting action on Craigslist to sell off the things we won't need anymore - mostly kitchen items that are included as built ins in the plans. The extra money will help buy new appliances and some decorative items for the new spaces.

Easter was a success. We had a large gathering for brunch with tons of food, Easter baskets, egg hunts (yes plural we attended a few as well), and family bonding. We hosted and the weather was with us and we were able to eat in the backyard. Larry made biscuits and gravy as usual and it was greeted with the usual enthusiasm. We seem to be having a pretty successful time of integrating more of Lisa's family into our holiday gatherings which eases the strain of running from holiday event to holiday event. Nothing like trying to eat multiple Christmas meals or Thanksgiving turkeys. :)

That's it for us - hope everyone had a great Easter and as usual we welcome visitors to the Zoo whenever possible. :)

The Verge of Verbal

As the title says the Bean is just about there for talking and by talking I mean in a way that other people than her primary caregivers can understand. She has been using modified sign language for awhile now with us and at the SDSU Children's Center. She has help, more, done, please, different, movie, eat, milk, sleep, and diaper change. All of which has been incredible helpful when dealing with a spirited young lass such as she. She has now created a modified language for herself and us which includes such phrases as:

"No K K no!" (No cat no)

"Ease!" (please)

"Tae" (Tre)

"Na na" (Nani)

"Da Da" (daddy)

"My uck!" (my duck)

"Ganks!" (thanks)

"Yo!" (yogurt)

"Bah!" (box as in juice box)

"No no no!" (no translation required)

I suspect by next month's post she will be talking in a more conventional manner with us. She is still a passionate little toddler convinced of her own notions and ideas. Daily are the struggles of her versus the objects around her as she attempts to strong arm doors, chairs, cats, people, and vacuums. She has been teething and getting the last few teeth she is missing and as is her way she is doing them in batches - no half steps for our little Bean.

Nani turned 5 and it was glorious! By glorious I mean loud and distinctly geared for the 3-6 age group. We all gathered at Chuck E. Cheese's (I included the link for those readers without small children somewhere in their lives so they behold the wonder that is) and let the giant rat or possibly mouse entertain us. The kids went to a land of light, sound, and sugar that will be long remembered. The parents were sweetly numb by the party's end - having been subdued by the same said light, sound, and sugar. Nani was radiant - that really is the only word for it. She was given a crown and her Auntie Meggie made her a custom order cake with beyblades on top of it. Click to learn more. :) I have uploaded the pictures to Flickr so feel free to take a look. I know will be receiving requests for more parties there in the future. You have been warned.

Tre, we learned this week, is one of the top 2 readers in his class and is proficient in all areas. While we are overjoyed at his progress we know it had little to do with his teacher at this point and we squarely lay the laurel wreaths at his feet, Sylvan Learning Center, and his speech therapist at Birney Elementary. He also received an award for his academic achievements in an assembly. He is on track for 1st grade and during his month off for Spring Break he'll be heading back to Sylvan (when told he danced around and cheered) to focus on his writing and a little more work on his reading skills - more of a refresher with that. He helped raise money for a librarian and an art program at his school (things are grim here for schools and their budgets) by participating in a jog-a-thon. He raised over 100.00 dollars in the event so thanks to family that sponsored him. The Kindergarden classes raised the most money and his classroom was the room that raised the most. Birney did hit the goal and beat it so next year there will be a Librarian and art at his school.

The dads are chugging along. We have a night out planned for this Friday to see Quidam, the newest offering from the Cirque du Soleil. We have enjoyed every tour that we have gotten the chance to see and are excited to see yet another. The mothers Caloh will be joining us along with my dad Don and his partner Michael. We will be having dinner at Kous Kous before the show. Then the following weekend all the dads are packing up the car and heading to Santa Cruz for a long weekend (thanks to the girls plus Monica for taking the kids so we can get away for our yearly dad vacation) of relaxing and catching up with friends. We will make the rounds to the Tea House and Mobo to name a few.

That's all for this month and I hope to report some significant progress on the remodel of the Zoo (1 bathroom for 4 adults and 2 kids is getting a little pinched) when next I post. As always we welcome visitors year round and much love to all!

The Surgical Stouder-Studenmund Family

Well as the title says we had surgeries this month. Tre went in to have his adenoids removed. He has had sinus infections all throughout the year and they have been swelling enough to interfere with his breathing sometimes at night. Nothing like having small heart attacks as you hear your child stop breathing at night. In addition, it gives him gnarly breath sometimes - like a single exhalation can drop small animals at 30 yards. I was concerned about Tre going back to Children's Hospital since that was the place he received treatment for his injuries from the abuse inflicted by his paternal aunt. For the most part he was fine with it except for the IV. He had one almost his entire stay the first time and the one they had put in for his procedure was a focal point of anxiety for him. He didn't really calm back down until they removed it.

Siddha has had back to back ear infections for the last month or so which has lead to a steady diet of antibiotics (not so great for a tiny tummy) which lead to a raging case of dastardly diaper rash. Her bottom was angry and red - took no prisoners as they say. So they put some teeny tiny ear tubes in her ears that will allow them to drain now when she gets an ear infection. Instead of taking a course of antibiotics - she now just needs a few ear drops when we see drainage from her ears. I was a worried about her going under for the first time and whether she would tolerate it well. It appears I had nothing to be concerned about. She was her happy self about 15 minutes after waking up from the procedure. The worst part was watching her get carried off while screaming for us as she made her way to the OR with the nurse. Insert hook just below chest bone and tug sharply.

Right after we had a huge lunch at McDonald's (the nearest eatery to the hospital) since they hadn't been allowed to eat anything since the night before. They were understandable famished and proceeded to eat copious amounts of Mc-food products. We had salads, chicken nuggets, fries, apple slices, burgers, cheese burgers, and yogurt. We ended up going back to the counter to order a second round of food for them. After they ate we headed home for some napping to sleep the rest of the general off (at least for Tre) and then the Aunties with Nani in tow with dinner from a local noodle shop we love. It was awesome to end the day with family and comfort food.

Valentine's Day was very romantic here at the Zoo. All the dads got flowers, cards, sweet kisses and a lovely dinner out. Tre got a box of cards, candy, and home baked goodies. Siddha got to decorate a card for her teachers at the SDSU Children's Center and the opportunity to paw through her siblings collections of cards. We took the kids to the zoo and the older kids loved as usual. It was a treat to see Siddha reallly get into the zoo more this time now that she's a little older. Before we had gone with her but it was mostly her along for the ride - this time it was pointing, screeching and staring at animals with the occasional look back to make sure parents were still around.

We have wrapped up the bids from contractors and are now trying to decide between them all. Both dreading and excited about the remodel. The idea of living in a half deconstructed house sounds stressful but the idea of more than one bathroom is intoxicating. Either way we need the changes to make the house more comfortable for the growing family. Those of you who know her - Monica - will be moving in at the end of the remodel. Which is awesome!! An old chum from high school who I have the chance to reconnect with and has fit in quite nicely with our full moon madness here. She is a regular at family lunch and is also it turn out an incredible sitter who likes kids!! All praise the little gods and goddesses as they smile down on us.

That's all from us for now but next month should be filled with more happenings including Nani's 5th birthday!!! We're going to Chuck E. Cheese's to celebrate and looking forward to seeing all the other families there.

Much love to all.

New Year - Old Plan

So the plan didn't exactly work for the dads to rotate posting to the blog so I am picking up the reins once again and posting this bitch at least once a month.

We had a whirlwind holiday season with Thanksgiving and Christmas going very well. We hosted Lisa's side of the family this Turkey Day and I think it went wonderfully. The food was awesome and everyone really seemed to have a great time together. Here's hoping we can host more often in the upcoming years.

Christmas was incredibly sane - we tried to stick with a reasonable number of presents and it seemed to work for all involved. I admit it was hard at times not to grab the one little gift when I saw something I thought someone would like but I only went over once and it was for my best friend. The gift opening seemed more manageable for the kids and people seem less overwhelmed. The highlight for me was getting a scarf that once belonged to me late Uncle Bobby from my father. Those of you that know the history can imagine the rest.

Grammy Jo was out for a visit and once again it was wonderful. She brought a bunch of things for us from her farm - jams, jerky, and fudge to name a few then proceeded to bake and cook up even more things when she got here. Our gaming group got spoiled with mom treats and snacks while she was out here. She spent time with the kids and they loved having her here. It means the world to us that she makes the time and energy to see them and us.

Larry got promoted at work to Project Manager and is a happy little turtle. He travels more which is not so great sometimes but he is really enjoying doing what he want to school for. He's excited, engaged and loving what he does. A complete change from before he went to school and the lack luster worker drone he was before.

Bill is still happily employed by Apple and thanks to his job there it looks like we have a real shot at doing our remodel this year. He's been an eager man looking over the plans and meeting with contractors. He has renewed his love with Legos and has built a few small pieces and one large Star Wars spaceship. He is been reading a bunch of super geek books lately and quite happy with the new nerdia - something about plotting points and visualizations of points or some such. Email or call Bill for more details. :)

Tre is reading!! Again I say Tre is reading and the world has changed for him. We have had less than tremendous results with his teacher so we went to Sylvan Learning Center and they did right by him tenfold. They saw the same boy we did - who just needed a little more patience and a understanding and PRESTO he reads. I have battled the school to remove some elements from his IEP - to the point where the district psychologist came out to evaluate him and that put an end to some of the foolishness from his teacher. He is reading to us, to his sisters, and almost anything he can at this point. He is as social as ever and one area I think I will ever really be concerned about with him - he makes friends effortlessly and seems to do well in most social groupings. He's daddy's little social butterfly. :)

Siddha is walking, signing and talking. Not full sentences yet but so close. She is communicating and has really begun to show how interconnected things are for her now at this age. She understands it's time to go to school, that we go to get Tre in the afternoons and that Daddy Larry comes home in the evening. She anticipates events and structures her experience of things. She has a checklist - get home, see who's here, watch a movie then have a snack. She is still a firecracker and has the temper you wouldn't believe. Our most recent example was at one of favorite Japanese eateries she was trying to get a bean out of its shell and was having the hardest time with it. She was sitting between Larry and myself - we both asked her if we could help and she just ignored us. Her face scrunched up and she literally tried to crush the bean in her hand into submission with a battle cry like the Samurai of old as she did so. Our half of the table all stopped talking to watch her titanic effort - only after she had tried did she relent and let us help her. The SDSU Children's Center is still an awesome place and we couldn't be happier with her there.

That's all for now but like I stated above I am going to try to post once a month minimum but I have some free time in the next few weeks to try and fill in the gaps from before. Thanks to everyone who hung in there and completely understandable if you stopped checking. I'll send out something to let everyone know the blog is back.

Also check out our Flickr link- I have put a bunch of photos up recently.

Ciao all!

...and so the summer comes to an end.

So, still working on that dad rotation, but we'll get things more regular soon. Wanted to do the big overview thing, just to catch everyone up.

Back in the middle of summer, the big event was Siddha's baby banquet at Imperial Mandarin. We had over 30 people from around the globe attending, including Siddha's A-kong and A-ma from Taiwan, cousins and aunts and uncles from up in Northern California, and pretty much everyone we know from around here, with aunts and uncles, grandparents, Poppi's, and the like. We spent almost three hours running the staff ragged (we tip well though) with a pretty constant flow of food and orders. They gave us their entire back room, so there was even space to let the kids run around and go crazy. They handed out ballons and everything, so we couldn't really have asked for a more kid friendly space. Megan hand-baked cakes for everyone, and even an extra little one for Siddha to mangle, so we got to do the traditional "baby-destroys-cake" thing. Overall an excellent time, with many gifts and well wishes given and received.

June was further enhanced by a visit from Grammy Jo, who came down from Idaho and her little private ranch, with the horses and the dogs and stuff, to hang with the kids and the family for over a week. We got in lots of family events, gave everyone a chance to reconnect, and gave Grammy Jo a little Siddha time. All in all, everyone seemed to click together just fine, and we're already talking about coordinating 2011's visit with a trip we may be taking up north. We did get a chance to visit the world famous San Diego Zoo, where much fun was had by all. We checked out the elephants, did the reptile house, and even took the Sky-Fari up and over the whole she-bang.

Summer's drawing to a close, and with it that means the kids are going back to school. Tre's starting at Birney, like we mentioned before, and he's really excited about it. There's an orientation next week that the boys are going to, again, just to meet the teachers and go over the general schedule for the school year. He seems excited, but since he's never actually been except for the tour, I think kindergarten is still very much a vague concept for him. He keeps asking about how long he'll be in school, about the other kids, and the like. I think it'll be good that Nani's going to the school with him, and Siddha will even be there before he leaves, so we have at least a few supporting faces, and hopefully he can do the same for them, since he'll be older. Because of his background, in preparation for school, we took Tre down to the Sylvan Learning Center to have him tested in terms of his reading capability. Turns out he's doing fine, he's well within the average competency. We got to talking though, and for all of us, the ability to read well ahead of the curve in school made things a lot easier all the way around. So, in light of that, we decided to go ahead and put him in a program with Sylvan. It'll take a few months, but he'll be almost a year ahead by then, and it seems like the boost can't do anything but help him out in class, and we'd all prefer that school was easy for him. It seems much more likely to be successful.

Siddha has started going to SDSU Children's Center somewhere between 1 and 2 days a week. Now that she's started walking almost the whole time, we've got our choice of locations. As usual, there was an exhaustive couple of weeks of research and tours, but we settled on the Children's center due to the uniqueness of their program and the fact that the days and hours were so flexible. Siddha herself is doing great. She's gotten up to 50% percentile for height, and her head is still huge, but her weight is still pretty low. She's definitely healthy, and incredibly mobile, so obviously doing fine despite the statistics. She's gotten like, half a dozen more teeth in since the last post, and she's in the process of cutting both her upper and lower canines. She never does anything in half steps, our girl, no she doesn't. This, of course, has meant a lot of grouchy baby and sleepless nights, but she's so damned cute the rest of the time that its hard not to forgive her. Her vocabulary now occasionally includes "Tans!" (Thanks) and "Tan kyuu" (thank you, we think) at Torrey's urging. Courtesy starts early, apparently.

It's been a pretty full summer for everyone. The kids are starting their second batch of swimming lessons (Tre can swim back and forth across the pool completely under the water now) and they just wrapped up a couple of weeks of summer camp at the Joan Kroc Center. I think the themes were Cowboy's and Rockstar's, respectively. Tre had a blast, and there were quite a few other kids from our little posse as well, so it was a good chance to reconnect and give them plenty of time together. Additionally, we're doing the annual water park trip on September 12th (come by if you're free, we're getting a family-sized cabana), and there's the Family Matters Picnic the next weekend after that.

The Dad's got a bit of vacation time at Gen Con this year, the greatest 4 days of gaming! We head out to Indianapolis for a weekend of pure geek-age and shopping. We spent some time on the floor, visited some events, attended some seminars, and I got to see a ton of video game music performed live by the Indianapolis Symphony and a full choir, plus classicly trained opera singer and flautist. Good times all around, and the kids had a great weekend with the girls, and Tre attended a Theater Tots session as well, so everyone got to enjoy the time.

My brother Joe just left earlier today after being out for a week. It's always nice to see him, and give the family a chance to reconnect. He hung out with Dan and Megan, when to some shows, got a chance to catch up on his sleep, and played with the kids. He's apparently deciding on whether to move up to Seattle fairly soon or stay in Salem and apply for the welding program at Chemeketa, which is apparently known far and wide for it's welding program.

All in all it's been a hectic couple of months, but full of good events. Check the Facebook and the Flickr links, because we've uploaded a couple pictures in the last couple of months of various events and kids, so check them out. We should be more regular moving forward, so look for another post within the next few weeks covering the first part of the school year and fall transitions.

I'm Back!

We've been doing a rotating daddy schedule for writing up on the family blog and I'm back up in the rotation.

First off - everyone please join me in welcoming to the world Elora Violet Grilly 7 lb. 13 oz. - 19.5 in at 7:58 am on 4/26 to Chris & Devon Grilly! The Zoo is delighted to have another geek spawn in creation. Great job Devon and Chris! Hopefully they were bring her to the west coast sometime soon so we can see her in person.

Tre's year at UCP is winding down to a close but it has been a great thing for him and us.

We had decided to give him a year more before kindergarden to give him the chance to get a little more socialized and it has worked wonders. The Tre we have now is vastly different than the little boy that showed up at our door almost 2 years ago. He is responsive and engaging - he seeks out relationships and is able to narrate his experiences to us. This might seem fairly ordinary to a lot of you but these have been challenges for him and to see him leave this difficulties behind is inspiring.

His school for next year is Birney and we're all pretty jazzed about it. After looking at a lot of schools (don't even ask how many >.<) I think this will be the best fit for our kids (Tre, Nani and Siddha) though the only downside is they will be going to Middle School (barbaric in my opinion) but we'll see how it works out. The school is an International Baccalaureate Organisation's Primary Years Programme school with a track of an IM Middle School and High School. Birney in the past had a terrible performance record for academics but this program has seemed to turn the school around. They have made incredible strides and seem poised to continue their success.

Siddha has fully embraced mobility as a lifestyle. She pretty much in motion from when she wakes up in the morning until she crashes from exhaustion at night. Her vocabulary has grown from "Da Da" to include "Mum Mum" (her favorite baby snack food) "Yah" "Bye" "Hi" and "Wow" (from hearing us saying it a great deal). She now growls as she crawls around the living room which delights me to no end. She has a host of strange cries and calls that she makes all the time while going about her day.

She is loving to eat all on her own. We set her up with a small bowl of whatever we're eating (sans the spice) in small bits and she goes to town. She has made the transition from bottle/baby food effortless. She tries the food and pretty much knows when she likes the sample or not. If disagreeable she digs it out and places it aside on her high chair tray. Even the occasional choking or gagging is pretty mild experience. She reaches in again on her own and pulls out the food without much fanfare.

She is still a wee thing (3% for weight and 15% for height) but her head is a little challenging (85% for circumference) right now. The clothes that fit her end up not fitting over her head so buttons, snaps and zippers are very in for us. She has four new teeth coming in on the top of her mouth to match her two bottom chompers so I think eating will become even more interesting for her when she has an actually bite. She is prepping for walking by lurching from one object to another and taking risks standing with only one hand or sometimes no hands for a few seconds.

We are getting ready for summer vacation here. We decided to not enroll Tre in the UCP summer program to give him the chance to hang out with his non-school friends (Nate, Nia, Gabriel and Emma to name a few) over the summer. We signed him up for some summer camps with same friends for two weeks. We also are planning a weekly trip to the farmer's market here in town. We also have our yearly trip to the water park as well - a family favorite for all of us. The Dads are taking a mini-vacation to GenCon to geek out and get some non-kid time over the summer. Thanks to the Aunties for watching the kids while we go to the convention!

Keep an eye out for the invite to Siddha's baby banquet for her first birthday. We have sent out invites far and wide in hopes of gathering a huge host for the event and enjoy the food at Imperial Mandarin (thanks Lae Lae & Rowena for the suggestion). I am so glad that Leng's parents will be in town for it and get to see Siddha (along with the rest of the kids). My hope is that we can get our kids really comfortable with Leng's family so that they have an even larger family to support them and connect with. Leng's parents have been incredible about this whole blended family structure and it has been a pleasure to be able to see their relationships with our families grow and deepen.

We took a weekend trip to Disneyland with several other queer families and had a blast. We drove up and stayed at a hotel near the park to maximize our time at the parks. We also went to California Adventure one day as well and I throughly enjoyed it. I thought it was a great place for the kids - they have an area themed after A Bug's Life and the rides were perfect for Tre. Exciting but not too scary worked for him. He ran all around with the two other boys that came on the trip. They formed their own pack and pretty much never stopped running until bedtime. It was great to have some many extra adults around with the kids - people were able to sneak away for rides and attractions and adult conversation was readily available which on kid trips is a lifesaver.

The boys threw me a lovely birthday BBQ along with Megan whose birthday is the day after mine. I think it was a wonderful success. We ended up with about 30 people (kids included) and a self serve shish-kabob manned by Grill Master Bill. One of things I have always enjoyed is filling our house with people and food, it's a magical combination. :) It was exactly the kind of birthday I was looking for - friends, family, good food and kids running around crazy in the background.

I think that's covered most of April's events for us but we do have a backload of photos and videos to get up from the last few months which I will try to do over the next week or so. Feel free to harass me via phone, text or email to get them done. :) As always I close with a warm invitation for any and all to visit us here at the Zoo - we welcome the company. :)